Start point

Horse Trail Camp, mile 508.1

End point

Mile 532.1

Miles hiked

24

Wilderness area

Angeles National Forest

Liebre Mountain

People I met

Strider

Caryn

The day on trail

Today is a monumental day! Not only are we planning to night hike the Los Angeles aqueduct, we’re going to hit Hikertown.

We have a really unique day planned. The aqueduct is a 16+ mile hike with practically no shade. It’s often hiked at night to reduce the exhaustion from sun. It’s also often accompanied with glow sticks and, let’s say, chemical enhancements to make the time pass faster. It’s a pretty, if not monotonous, stretch of trail. And, what’s coolest, it follows the LA aqueduct, which supplies much of Los Angeles with its water.

We’re also going to pass through Hikertown. It’s a notoriously peculiar place known for their kitschy displays and disingenuous business practices. There are comments on FarOut, the crowdsourced trail guide, that people suspect there may be cameras in the shower, for instance. I’m excited to see Hikertown and definitely not shower there.

The approach to Hikertown was fairly nondescript compared to other parts of the trail. It was more of what we’ve already seen, just a little less of it.

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I found more of those little guys.

There was a section of trail that abuts a hunting club’s ground. They have these signs to stay on trail else a hunter might shoot you. But, like, why would a hunter shoot an animal they couldn’t identify? I feel some things are too far. A protected wilderness area should be safe for people from people.

Descending from the mountain and hills, there was a run down house with some shot up cars in the yard. Yes, if you zoom in you can see bullet holes.

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They also had a beautiful horse.

Shortly I was at the intersection with the highway, where Hikertown had a woefully outdated advertisement.

Know what was free there?

NOTHING

Yet I digress. I got to Hikertown and the crew, Piñacolada, Rafael/Dirty Rafa, and Sinead/Sunrise were there waiting for me. I got in, use the questionable facilities, and we figured out our plans.

There’s a market with a free shuttle near Hikertown, but they have less selection and higher prices. At the same time, there’s a market farther away with reportedly excellent food and better prices, but it’s supposed to be a difficult hitch there.

We gambled on the hitch and Piñacolada has some sort of hot hiking magic. A few cars passed, and then one going the opposite direction came by. Piñacolada said “oh just turn around”. The driver rolled his window down and said “I’ll turn around and get you!”

Magic.

We sat in the back of his pickup and were blown around, laughing and smiling and celebrating the whole way.

At the market, Wee Ville Market, we saw Tom and Lib, Chopper, Gusher, and Jingles. We all visited and chatted as they waited for their food they ordered and we waited for the cashier/cook to be ready to take our ordered. Chopper was worried they forgot her sandwich, because it was taking significantly longer for hers to come out, but it eventually did. We also grabbed some resupply, fun snacks for the aqueduct walk, and random temporary tattoos from a vending machine.

This is what I ordered. The PCT burger. Two hand formed and seasoned patties with cheese and pastrami. And carne asada fries. It was so decadent. It was so rich it messed my stomach up for a night. But it was worth it.

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I finished the burger and packed out the fries. I was stuffed to the gills.

The other group left partway through our meal and we’re trying to get a hitch back to Hikertown for about 20-25 minutes. They got one a couple minutes before we left. We stood around for about five minutes and ended up getting a ride from a guy who works in Tehachapi with the local energy company. It was also in the cab of his truck, rather than the bed, which was wonderful.

Back in Hikertown we put the tattoos on. Piñacolada got a DC comics styled woman from behind holding a bat on her shoulder with “game on” below it. He put it on the base of his throat. Sunrise got an old styled octopus wrestling a sailed ship. She applied it under her left collarbone. I got some anime styled samurai with a katana. It went on the left side of my neck. All came from the machine randomly.

Hikertown took a while to figure out.

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I didn’t get much of the decor in photos. It honestly feels like every fake western highway tourist trap along I-10. But I did figure it out. In Les Misérables, the innkeeper has a song.

Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down

And meet the best innkeeper in town

As for the rest, all of them crooks:

Rooking their guests and cooking the books

Seldom do you see

Honest men like me

A gent of good intent

Who’s content to be

Master of the house, doling out the charm

Ready with a handshake and an open palm

Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir

Customers appreciate a bon-viveur

Glad to do a friend a favor

Doesn’t cost me to be nice

But nothing gets you nothing

Everything has got a little price!

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo

Ready to relieve them of a sou or two

Watering the wine, making up the weight

Picking up their knick-knacks when they can’t see straight

Everybody loves a landlord

Everybody’s bosom friend

I do whatever pleases

Jesus! Won’t I bleed ’em in the end!

This felt like the inn. They say “free to hang out in the courtyard” then insist on “donations” after five minutes. The hostel rooms are obviously not zoned or up to code. They can’t make up their mind on who takes cash and who takes Venmo. It has obvious grifts through and through.

Time to head out. It was about 4:30 and we were ready to continue.

Partway down the trail we started seeing the infrastructure of the (in)famed aqueduct.

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And soon we were on it!

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There were some really cool little features. A yellow water tank and some huts that we didn’t know what the purpose was for.

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After sundown on the aqueduct, I told the crew what I thought of Hikertown. Dirty Rafa loved it and started singing:

Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat

Filling up the sausages with this and that

It’s really great to have someone who knows some musicals!

Soon our shadows got long and the sun started sinking.

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Sunset soon descended and we stopped at a raised access point on the aqueduct to get our glow sticks.

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And then we walked. And walked. And walked.

About six miles in my shoes started falling apart in a big way and I switched to my Crocs. It was just too much to keep kicking rocks and sand out from the massive hole in the side of my right shoe that opened up.

The moon was full, bright, and high. It fast a cool light on the landscape so fully that we didn’t need headlamps. We used them just to be safe, at times, but it was largely superfluous. The moon was so bright it cast shadows from the Joshua trees on the ground.

Piñacolada and Sinead switched between playing DJ for the walk all night. Eventually, Sinead shared some Bob Seger songs that were her favorite and it really set the perfect mood and pace for night hiking.

After about six more miles, around 10:30pm, we decided to call it. We were all tired from our super long day, and ready to fall asleep hard. We found a flat spot of ground off the trail and set up for some cowboy camping. I picked a spot under a small Joshua tree.

And then we slept under a full moon and a sky filled with stars.